I know i havent been on in a while..ive promised myself over and over that i would get on once a day but sometimes i cant and i think its dumb to make promises i know im not going to keep. so i wont be doing that anymore.
So i went to look at colleges. i fell in love with christopher newport. oh my god i love it! im really trying to work on my grades. so far my over all gpa is a 3.0..i really slacked off last year and im regretting it so much now. i still think i have a chance of getting in if i do really well this quarter. i just have to stay focused.
All of the thinking about the future and schools kinda got me thinking about myself. when i go to college who do i want to be? i dont want people to see me the same way they did in highschool. its a new chance to be what i want to be. for some reason people at my school see me as a ditzy and slutty. its highschool and i know that people spread rumors and are immature but college is still gunna be as bad. i want people to recognized me as the nice pretty smart girl. girls wanna be friends with and boys wanna date not fuck.
I think ive found out why all of my plans fail. I always try to lose several lbs a week or as much as i can. I fall of track and gain it all back. I need to take baby steps and pace myself. I think if i aim for 1lb a week i can stay on track better because i wont be so stressed. If i stay on track for a whole year thats -52 lbs! i have a little less than a year and a half before college so i can lose about 70 lbs before i go! I would feel so much better weighing 70 lbs less. I really think i can do it. Im going to try to eat about 1000 calories a day give or take some. Im still doing softball and im going to do an ab workout 5 days a week after i get up. In the summer im going to run a few miles a day and do laps. i really think i can reach my goal if i stay on track. if i fall off im not gunna give up im gunna pick up where i left off. i want to do this!

yesterday i did alright..i still havent had a chance to go running. im swamped with school and i hate it! but this is my last week before spring break! i cant wait!!! i have a game 2n but its not that far away and we should get a big lead on them in the beginning and hopefully win by slaughter rule. i have 2 massive projects i need to finish by friday. fmylife! :[

in
b-90cal bar+water
l-half a sandwich+half apple+water
s-90cal bar

out
school
softball game